It’s Nice to Be Needed... But Not Too Needed

When you are in a Raiding Guild, it is nice to be needed. 

I really enjoy my guild.  Even though I am a relative newcomer (I've been there for just shy of a year now), I feel like I have been accepted into their bizarre little family and have become one of them.  I have seen the highs and lows of progression with them; stood defiantly in front of the Lich King as he decimated our raid, exulted with them in triumph when we overcame that fight, and was there to see my guildmate Bomba break down in great, heaving sobs every time someone mentioned the phrase "Ulduar Hard Modes".  

When I joined Shadowgarde I was a complete noob when it came to raiding.  I had actually never even set foot in a raid before, but I knew that I wanted to.  I did everything I could to get my gear up to par (including PUGing Trial of the Crusader, which was equivalent to getting a 10-man and a 25-man root canal every week) and eventually I was invited to heal our guild ICC run.  There were a lot of growing pains as I learned the ropes, and my guildmates were great in helping me through it.  I think that in the end I evolved into a very good raider and that I've earned my raid spot.

It is a little disconcerting, on the other hand, to feel completely indispensable.  

Don't get me wrong, I love the fact that any time there is a raid called I get an instant invite.  I love being a go-to healer and someone my guild can count on to always be there.  But if I can't make it for whatever reason (say, like having a pregnant wife have a mental meltdown on a raid night), I don't want to feel like I'm the sole reason that the raid gets canceled.  Frankly, I can't take the guilt.

It's not just me, either.  At this point we are so hard up for healers that we don't have enough experienced, raid-ready healers to allow much flexibility at all.  If one of our regular healers miss a raid, it's a good bet that it will end up being canceled, or at least significantly delayed while we scour tradechat for a PUGer whose knuckles don't drag on the ground.  We have picked up a new recruit who has been raiding with us for a few weeks now who looks like he's going to work out really well, but we need more.

We are a very large guild full of all sorts of people from raiders to PVPers to casuals and socials.  It's not unusual to have 25 people online at raid time and still not have enough people who are interested in or geared for raiding.  Being such an incredibly diverse guild is a double-edged sword; on one hand the interaction and feeling of family is wonderfully comforting and compelling, while at the same time it's very discouraging to feel like you're PUGing within your own guild.

So... Any healers on Sargeras looking for a new guild?



  1. I hear ya, Fannon. We started Cata with so many 'i'm gonna heal this expansion'folks that I wondered..would we be flooded? I encouraged my fellow healers to have viable dps or tank off specs just in case.

    The net of the deal is we have 4 individuals left that are raid read. Two of those and one tank with off spec heals or alts as possible additional heals. Healing is not easy sauce anymore, to be sure, and many have dropped healing for tank or dps instead, or have slowed on gearing due to burn out in heroics.

    And we also have 'moved' raid night to accommodate a healer's book club, work, etc. People understand. We have lives. It is what it is for heals right now as we work to help others who want to gear be raid-ready. I hope you find a few more folks :)

  2. We are in a similar position, with if one healer (or a core healer) can't make it, we are stuck on our 25 mans. We have about 4 strong healers with another 3-4 new recruits or ones who just don't do as well as the others. This definitely adds to the pressure to be there and excel!
    We have 3 designated raid nights but also 2 10 mans running on sat/tues and I do feel I should be there or they will have to take one of the others and might not have any success. I really don't like raiding 5 nights a week, especially as I get so little time to myself (1 year old and non raiding boyfriend)
    I love healing and feeling useful but it's very hard to say no when the guild come begging.
    Our biggest problem was people saying they were going to tank and then quitting/rerolling/dpsing again. Our gm who went to dps might even have to go back to tanking.
    I think we are constantly recruiting lol.

  3. I can completely relate to this. I want to be needed and included, but not have to feel guilty I'd I can't make it. I want my cake and eat it, too, dammit! Is that too much to ask?

    I think that might be one of the downfalls/ challenges of 10man raiding. It's so close knit, but how do you find someone willing to be an alt for when real life calls?

  4. I know what you mean. Though I am a tank I can see a lot of shortage on Tanks and Healers all over the place. When I get online I usually get pulled into a daily heroic group or Raid group before Stormwind is loaded up yet.

    Eventually I made the decision to only be able to tag along on certain days, and the guildies have respected those boundaries so far. Also gave me some time to level mining and even try out Archeology...meh...

    Oh well, great post and will be looking forwards on the next one :)


  5. It's a tough call. We have had one raid so far, but I did have to pug a few. I ended up switching the raid times to accommodate our top healer, and by golly if he can't make it, I'm destroyed! And although we are actively recruiting, I really don't want to recruit someone for a bench spot just because we only run the one 10 man thus far and are uber casual. I find it amazing just how many people join guilds because they hear you are raiding, only to change up on ya, lol. It's a slippery slope. I always pray that if someone can't make it on raid day that there is a guildie online to take the spot. I find recruiting a slippery slope sometimes, as in I want to make a consistent team, but how do I recruit for absences without hurting others feelings? Sorry for the rant. You might just have inspired my next post. :)

  6. Augh, I hate the knowledge that if I go to a one-off event somewhere then the guild won't have enough healers to raid. :|

  7. @Everybody: Thank you for the comments! I found this post to be quite hard to write, so I appreciate it being received so well.

    @Ttrinity: That is the exact same situation we have right now. A lot of our healers respeced DPS or switched to a DPS alt.

    @druidnaora: I can't imagine how much worse it would be for 25-man raiding. 10-man is hard enough.

    @Mirandinn: Ranting is what blogs are for. :) I look forward to reading your take on this topic.

    @Janyaa: I know, it's really hard to recruit someone when there isn't a guaranteed spot for them. I still haven't really worked out a good way to deal with that.

    Arphalas: I always try to set limits for myself when it comes to my raid schedule, as raiding too many days in a week is unfair to my wife who doesn't game. The hardest part is saying "No" to the raid invite when it comes because I know that there just aren't many others who can do the job. Also, I really hate the idea of not being there when my guild tackles something new. I missed out on our first Lich King kill because of Real Life obligations, and that still kind of annoys me.

  8. I hear you Fannon. Like other said, it's nice when you are needed but man, when you know the raid didn't happen because you couldn't make it...that's some serious guilt right there. It's a fine line to walk, but what do you do? Overrecruit and have to bench folks? Or keep the exact number of folks you need and risk a few not showing up for some reason? No good solution, imo.

    I once blogged about a situation where things went *very* wrong, when a spontaneous Karazhan raid was in the works one day and we had JUST enough peeps to make it work if I went. I had other things I had planned to do that day and declined to go, and a guildie who was running me through SM took exception to that. I said no and held my ground and he gave me so much grief I was in tears by the time I logged off. So I am therefore passionate about RL>WoW when it comes to raiding (such as having the hormonal pregnant wife senario).

    Slight derail there, but it's what came to my mind when reading this. I am the kind of person that easily feels guilt in game, over a situation like being needed or else the raid won't happen, or loot guilt (I feel so bad getting shineys sometimes!).